Self-help and personal development books appear to be so ubiquitous that it can feel overwhelming and even impossible to find the right book for you. Whether you are altogether skeptical of self-help books or you read about personal development like we eat popcorn (that is, stuffing our faces by the handful), no one ever evolves alone, nor is there a one-size-fits-all equation for becoming the best version of yourself.
The personal development books on this list are varied and cover a diversity of situations that we all experience differently. From self-love to professional development to how to take care of yourself when you’ve dedicated your life to caring for others to tips and tricks on managing your relationship with technology and social media, these books are sure to make you completely rethink what self development means. You’re not alone on this journey of growth and realization; in fact, learning through others is part of caring for yourself. Each author meets you where you are and encourages you not to change who you are to fit a mold, but to grow your strengths and become the person you were meant to be.
Sonya Renee Taylor is the founder of The Body Is Not an Apology, a grassroots movement, organization, and
Taylor writes, “Radical self-love is not a destination you are trying to get to; it is who you already are, and it is already working tirelessly to guide your life. The question is how can you listen to it more distinctly, more often? Even over the blaring of constant body shame? How can you allow it to change your relationship with your body and your world? And how can that change ripple throughout the entire planet?” With a toolkit and engaging and poetic language, this book contains a powerful message that goes beyond the individualism of many self-help books and ties our own personal development journey to the fate of the humanity of others. In learning to love ourselves more radically and fully, we can learn to share that same love with others.
The Body Is Not an Apology | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Indiebound | BK Bookstore | Audible
As a bonus, we wanted to include another book by Van Dernoot Lipsky as a necessary companion: The Age of Overwhelm. This book covers how to take care of yourself when the cards, world, and energies of the universe make it feel like there is so much injustice and work to be done. Rather than sacrifice our own well-being for the greater good, Lipsky argues that we have to take a both/and approach—it is in caring for ourselves that we are best equipped to tackle the overwhelm of the world. She writes, “The more we feel overwhelm starting to set in, the more focused and diligent we need to be with ourselves in having a plan. When we’re overwhelmed, we must, must determine how to metabolize and internally transform whatever is arising within us. Otherwise, it erodes us, or we cause external harm, or both.”
Trauma Stewardship | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Indiebound | BK Bookstore | Audible
The Age of Overwhelm | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Indiebound | BK Bookstore
This might sound intimately familiar: Advances in technology are supposed to make people’s lives easier and, in turn, make them happier, but they often produce the opposite effect. Constant technology exposure can diminish empathy, and seeing a constant stream of others’ accomplishments and smiling pictures on social media can lead to anxiety in observers who think their lives must stink in comparison. Taking advantage of vulnerabilities in human brain function, tech companies entice us to overdose on technology interaction. This damages our lives, work, families, and friendships. Swipe-driven dating apps train us to evaluate people like products, diminishing our relationships. At work, we check our email 77 times a day on average, ruining our concentration. At home, light from our screens is contributing to epidemic sleep deprivation.
But we can reclaim our lives without dismissing technology. The authors explain how to avoid getting hooked on tech and how to define and control the roles that tech is playing and could play in our lives. Additionally, they provide a guide to technological and personal tools for regaining control. This easy read turns personal observation into a handy action guide to adapting to our new reality of omnipresent technology.
Your Happiness Was Hacked | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Indiebound | BK Bookstore | Audible
Zack’s book highlights how introverts can overcome their disdain of networking and apply their strengths to effectively connect with others. The key isn’t turning into an extrovert, but rather, tailoring your networking strategies so you don’t feel drained or like you’re faking it, which inevitably results in unsuccessful and exhausting networking events. The first step is recognizing, naming, and honing your strengths and communicating them in a way that feels natural for you—and Zack shows you how to do just that. She writes, “Whether you love, tolerate, or hate networking is directly correlated to your inner monologue. It is never too late to rewire your brain! All you need is a small set of pliers and a dose of willpower.”
Networking for People Who Hate Networking | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Indiebound | BK Bookstore | Audible
Our final self-development book recommendation is one we’ve featured many times on this blog: Humble Inquiry, Edgar Schein’s classic best seller that inspired Humble Leadership and Humble Consulting. The idea behind humble inquiry is that people should prioritize listening instead of talking and asking instead of telling.
By bringing humility into the equation, people can grow by learning more about themselves and others. And that doesn’t just apply to our communication with others, but also to how we adapt and grow in the communities and organizations we live and work in. Many incisive self-help books and frameworks agree that when you reflect and learn from spaces and people outside of yourself, growth naturally ensues. Reflecting and learning from a place of humility also undergirds your chances at being successful and thoughtful on this journey. Schein elaborates, “One way to learn to reflect is to apply Humble Inquiry to ourselves. Before leaping into action, we can ask ourselves: What is going on here? What would be the appropriate thing to do? What am I thinking and feeling and wanting?” In other words, understanding yourself is a path to understanding others—and that path is a two-way street.
Humble Inquiry | Amazon | Barnes and Noble | Indiebound | BK Bookstore | Audible